








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 701 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3308 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4589 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3425 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1114 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,363,514 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeph | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Gunner- | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Explicit | 60% | 85 |
| #4 | Ms.Explicit | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | jhop | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gunner- | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Explicit | 60% | 85 |
| #4 | Ms.Explicit | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | jhop | 54% | 48 |
| #6 | AVON™ | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Explicit | 35 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | jhop | 13 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | zeph | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | Ms.Explicit | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | AVON™ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Explicit | 182 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | jhop | 141 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | zeph | 75 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | AVON™ | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gunner- | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeph | +5.60 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | Gunner- | +1.83 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | CrazyPsychic | +1.07 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | Explicit | +0.85 | 46 | 48 |
| #5 | AVON™ | -0.08 | 57 | 66 |





