








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 986 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3166 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3919 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3574 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3633 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,828 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chopetez | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | jaymac | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Vulture 2.0 | 51% | 86 |
| #4 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 48% | 64 |
| #5 | ShaunnyyMac | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chopetez | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | jaymac | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Vulture 2.0 | 51% | 86 |
| #4 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 48% | 64 |
| #5 | ShaunnyyMac | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vulture 2.0 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ShaunnyyMac | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Chopetez | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | jaymac | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaymac | 203 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #2 | Vulture 2.0 | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Akimbo Is Bananas | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chopetez | 95 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | ShaunnyyMac | 72 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chopetez | +3.58 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | Vulture 2.0 | +1.94 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | --Paradox-_ | +0.65 | 56 | 46 |
| #4 | ShaunnyyMac | +0.59 | 72 | 46 |
| #5 | jaymac | -0.43 | 74 | 65 |





