








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 25% |
| Smokes | 749 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 662 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,484 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gashmaster | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | ℘尺ℴ|MeadWizard|℘尺ℴ | 40% | 43 |
| #5 | Hashman (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ ) | 34% | 32 |
| #6 | s A g A T . | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | Negan Smith | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℘尺ℴ|MeadWizard|℘尺ℴ | +4.37 | 70 | 67 |
| #2 | Gashmaster | +1.78 | 50 | 37 |
| #3 | Kanye | +0.41 | 29 | 32 |
| #4 | Hashman (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ ) | +0.09 | 44 | 45 |
| #5 | GannTheMan | -2.07 | 16 | 35 |





