








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1581 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1955 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,222 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKULLA. | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | Eulogies | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Sum Ting Wong | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Komp1ex | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 57% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 57% | 70 |
| #6 | The BabySitter | 54% | 83 |
| #7 | Bairy Fitch | 53% | 30 |
| #8 | Hood Hero | 53% | 59 |
| #9 | The Milk Man | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | The BabySitter | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Hood Hero | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | AKULLA. | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Bairy Fitch | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The BabySitter | 389 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hood Hero | 126 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 112 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sum Ting Wong | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Eulogies | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zach10101 | +2.91 | 65 | 58 |
| #2 | AKULLA. | +0.94 | 69 | 31 |
| #3 | Eulogies | +0.82 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | -0.34 | 32 | 40 |
| #5 | The Milk Man | -0.57 | 81 | 67 |





