








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1920 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1857 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1650 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1577 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,595,142 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | The Milk Man | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Hood Hero | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Komp1ex | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Zach10101 | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Komp1ex | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Zach10101 | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | The BabySitter | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | Eulogies | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | PilCosby | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilCosby | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Zach10101 | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | The Milk Man | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Hood Hero | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The BabySitter | 97 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hood Hero | 70 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zach10101 | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | PilCosby | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Komp1ex | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zach10101 | +3.72 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | +3.00 | 60 | 41 |
| #3 | Komp1ex | +2.26 | 78 | 34 |
| #4 | The Milk Man | +1.19 | 80 | 48 |
| #5 | PilCosby | +0.87 | 77 | 51 |





