








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5086 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3837 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4262 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3104 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,511 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komp1ex | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | AKULLA. | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | The Milk Man | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | PilCosby | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 56% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Zach10101 | 54% | 83 |
| #8 | Sum Ting Wong | 52% | 25 |
| #9 | 4 nem | 50% | 167 |
| #10 | Bairy Fitch | 48% | 25 |
| #11 | Hood Hero | 46% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4 nem | 18 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Hood Hero | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | AKULLA. | 9 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Zach10101 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4 nem | 427 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Hood Hero | 325 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zach10101 | 264 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Punjabi Mart Fent Cart | 233 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | AKULLA. | 111 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4 nem | +4.16 | 66 | 51 |
| #2 | Zach10101 | +2.76 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | The Milk Man | +2.11 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | Eulogies | +1.75 | 79 | 44 |
| #5 | PilCosby | +1.73 | 71 | 62 |





