








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1309 | 19% |
| Smokes | 622 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2824 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2194 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,380,489 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shroomoney | 65% | 78 |
| #2 | sqwurt | 58% | 166 |
| #3 | King Larp | 55% | 76 |
| #4 | Woosah | 55% | 87 |
| #5 | Tony | 51% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Larp | 15 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Woosah | 14 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Tony | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | sqwurt | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | OWENSmyMUNCh | 11 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sqwurt | 480 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Shroomoney | 229 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | King Larp | 229 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Woosah | 226 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheGirthQuake | 127 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shroomoney | +4.76 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | King Larp | +4.50 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | Woosah | +3.96 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | Tony | +2.47 | 69 | 27 |
| #5 | sqwurt | +0.70 | 45 | 47 |





