








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2383 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2971 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2607 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1518 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,951,832 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Larp | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Shroomoney | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | Woosah | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | Tony | 46% | 118 |
| #5 | Herb | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Herb | 46% | 68 |
| #6 | sqwurt | 45% | 109 |
| #7 | Daddy Beast | 45% | 103 |
| #8 | iTzAkuma | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | TheGirthQuake | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sqwurt | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Tony | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Daddy Beast | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Herb | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | TheGirthQuake | 7 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sqwurt | 287 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Woosah | 134 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Daddy Beast | 106 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheGirthQuake | 98 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | King Larp | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shroomoney | +6.63 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | King Larp | +4.77 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Woosah | +4.36 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Tony | +3.60 | 73 | 28 |
| #5 | sqwurt | +1.61 | 49 | 49 |





