








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3846 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3229 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2675 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3477 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,122,417 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 67% | 55 |
| #2 | Herb | 65% | 78 |
| #3 | sqwurt | 61% | 72 |
| #4 | TheGirthQuake | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | iTzAkuma | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | iTzAkuma | 58% | 31 |
| #6 | tzu | 56% | 59 |
| #7 | ♥ / Xepher | 54% | 41 |
| #8 | Daddy Beast | 54% | 28 |
| #9 | OWENSmyMUNCh | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 11 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Herb | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | sqwurt | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | tzu | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | OWENSmyMUNCh | 5 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sqwurt | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | tzu | 126 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | TheGirthQuake | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♥ / Xepher | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | OWENSmyMUNCh | 69 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shroomoney | +3.02 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Tony | +2.77 | 65 | 23 |
| #3 | ♥ / Xepher | +2.30 | 74 | 36 |
| #4 | TheGirthQuake | +0.94 | 79 | 32 |
| #5 | sqwurt | +0.42 | 47 | 46 |





