








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 189 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1423 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4152 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 1196 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 835 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,868,299 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5738 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | 50% | 117 |
| #2 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 46% | 56 |
| #3 | General Geralt | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | 50% | 117 |
| #2 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 46% | 56 |
| #3 | General Geralt | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | 20 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | General Geralt | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | 368 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | (82)M4Y-s3n | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | General Geralt | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Nutsack (84) | +1.04 | 35 | 39 |
| #2 | (82)M4Y-s3n | +0.35 | 35 | 24 |
| #3 | sophisticatedgoose52 | -1.45 | 28 | 20 |
| #4 | General Geralt | -1.86 | 25 | 18 |





