








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1586 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2823 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1288 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1972 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,393 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kn665 | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Sc0oby02 | 46% | 127 |
| #6 | BOT YAKUZA | 46% | 90 |
| #7 | ank ™ | 39% | 28 |
| #8 | 𝑅𝒜𝒱𝐸 | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT YAKUZA | 158 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | ank ™ | 96 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Egoo11FTP | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sc0oby02 | 79 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝑅𝒜𝒱𝐸 | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |





