








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5390 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5228 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3061 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2331 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,539 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2860 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Discount_WiFi | 44% | 247 |
| #5 | TheLegoHorde | 42% | 88 |
| #6 | Juggalo | 41% | 41 |
| #7 | Zero | 37% | 38 |
| #8 | dmt frog | 35% | 117 |





