








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1158 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1529 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1016 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1034 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,492 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slaterade | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | dr4y | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | Yung Catlos | 62% | 55 |
| #4 | shmaks | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | ᴢᴏɪᴅ$ᴘᴇʀɢ | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Catlos | 103 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | shmaks | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | dr4y | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ham browner | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Krafty | 22 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cupcake (No Teeth Edition) | +4.32 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | Yung Catlos | +3.79 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | 777 | +3.21 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | Krafty | +2.58 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | slaterade | +2.32 | 67 | 33 |





