








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 810 | 28% |
| Smokes | 564 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1008 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,358 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Fleece | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | ꜱᴋɪᴘᴘʏ | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | ᴢᴏɪᴅ$ᴘᴇʀɢ | 35% | 26 |
| #13 | Skaggleton | 33% | 15 |
| #14 | cat breeder | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Catlos | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | 777 | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | shmaks | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | ᴢᴏɪᴅ$ᴘᴇʀɢ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | cat breeder | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Catlos | 152 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | cat breeder | 52 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ham browner | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | 777 | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | shmaks | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krafty | +5.11 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | 777 | +4.54 | 75 | 77 |
| #3 | cat breeder | +3.86 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | Yung Catlos | +2.17 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | shmaks | +1.31 | 75 | 66 |





