








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 908 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4297 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7061 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6790 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7240 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,845,663 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ᴢᴏɪᴅ$ᴘᴇʀɢ | 47% | 186 |
| #9 | slaterade | 46% | 80 |
| #10 | Dick | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | pondy | 45% | 94 |
| #12 | shmaks | 43% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Catlos | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ꜱᴋɪᴘᴘʏ | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | shmaks | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Skaggleton | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ᴢᴏɪᴅ$ᴘᴇʀɢ | 8 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Catlos | 509 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | shmaks | 362 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Fleece | 253 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | ᴢᴏɪᴅ$ᴘᴇʀɢ | 218 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | ꜱᴋɪᴘᴘʏ | 156 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Catlos | +4.57 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Cupcake (No Teeth Edition) | +4.51 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | ꜱᴋɪᴘᴘʏ | +3.58 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | Fleece | +2.67 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | slaterade | +1.64 | 75 | 45 |





