








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2866 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2964 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5238 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3078 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,238,316 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 879 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.NIC | 61% | 54 |
| #2 | CGL 2.0 | 51% | 65 |
| #3 | Master ButtCHeekS | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Striker Steinberg | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | Hobo_Jesus | 48% | 519 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | 45% | 65 |
| #8 | ThirdTime_Kiffer | 42% | 167 |
| #9 | CG.BABABOOEY | 38% | 78 |
| #10 | Dkurza | 36% | 121 |
| #11 | CrystalNochu | 35% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobo_Jesus | 59 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Master ButtCHeekS | 26 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | ThirdTime_Kiffer | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Dkurza | 19 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | CG.BABABOOEY | 16 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobo_Jesus | 498 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | Dkurza | 279 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | SexyDoro | 252 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | CrystalNochu | 120 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Master ButtCHeekS | 83 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | +2.03 | 38 | 45 |
| #2 | CG.BABABOOEY | +1.06 | 42 | 42 |
| #3 | CGL 2.0 | +0.92 | 51 | 49 |
| #4 | Master ButtCHeekS | +0.81 | 41 | 38 |
| #5 | Dr.NIC | +0.18 | 30 | 18 |





