








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2065 | 38% |
| Smokes | 972 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 851 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1552 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,631 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThirdTime_Kiffer | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 45% | 100 |
| #3 | Hobo_Jesus | 42% | 153 |
| #4 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | 41% | 54 |
| #5 | Striker Steinberg | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dkurza | 39% | 36 |
| #7 | Dr.NIC | 38% | 82 |
| #8 | kio708 | 33% | 30 |
| #9 | CGL 2.0 | 33% | 43 |
| #10 | CrystalNochu | 29% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Hobo_Jesus | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | CrystalNochu | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Dr.NIC | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | CGL 2.0 | 5 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobo_Jesus | 136 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | CrystalNochu | 79 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dkurza | 73 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dr.NIC | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | +3.41 | 38 | 42 |
| #2 | ThirdTime_Kiffer | +0.96 | 17 | 14 |
| #3 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | +0.56 | 52 | 31 |
| #4 | CGL 2.0 | +0.50 | 51 | 50 |
| #5 | Hobo_Jesus | +0.12 | 27 | 29 |





