








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1369 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2084 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1798 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2135 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,256 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Striker Steinberg | 39% | 28 |
| #2 | SexyDoro | 39% | 36 |
| #3 | Dr.NIC | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | Master ButtCHeekS | 36% | 22 |
| #5 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 36% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hobo_Jesus | 32% | 148 |
| #9 | CG.BABABOOEY | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | kio708 | 30% | 20 |
| #11 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | 30% | 20 |
| #12 | CGL 2.0 | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 18 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | ThirdTime_Kiffer | 11 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Hobo_Jesus | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | CrystalNochu | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Master ButtCHeekS | 4 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 190 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hobo_Jesus | 151 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | CrystalNochu | 86 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | SexyDoro | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | CGL 2.0 | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | +2.72 | 34 | 49 |
| #2 | CG.BABABOOEY | +2.09 | 41 | 49 |
| #3 | CGL 2.0 | +1.78 | 43 | 49 |
| #4 | Master ButtCHeekS | +0.89 | 42 | 48 |
| #5 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | -0.21 | 35 | 23 |





