








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 646 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7091 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6322 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5355 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5882 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,336,217 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tr3x | 54% | 171 |
| #2 | Z3R0 | 54% | 258 |
| #3 | monticlassico1187 | 53% | 79 |
| #4 | your mum☔ | 51% | 105 |
| #5 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 51% | 374 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | your mum☔ | 51% | 105 |
| #5 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 51% | 374 |
| #6 | Sashka | 50% | 117 |
| #7 | BiniBanana | 48% | 52 |
| #8 | Sarsten Cahl | 36% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 68 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | your mum☔ | 16 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Sashka | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Z3R0 | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | tr3x | 10 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sashka | 617 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | Z3R0 | 425 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 368 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | tr3x | 311 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | monticlassico1187 | 294 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sashka | +3.39 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | BiniBanana | +2.38 | 53 | 47 |
| #3 | monticlassico1187 | +1.18 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | Wasserschwein | +0.95 | 37 | 59 |
| #5 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | -0.25 | 50 | 45 |





