








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1771 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Wingman | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4427 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2766 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1759 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,221 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monticlassico1187 | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Wasserschwein | 54% | 258 |
| #3 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 54% | 145 |
| #4 | tr3x | 52% | 326 |
| #5 | your mum☔ | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wasserschwein | 54% | 258 |
| #3 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 54% | 145 |
| #4 | tr3x | 52% | 326 |
| #5 | your mum☔ | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | Sashka | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 44 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | Wasserschwein | 39 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | tr3x | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | your mum☔ | 9 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | Sashka | 5 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wasserschwein | 776 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | tr3x | 550 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Sashka | 225 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | monticlassico1187 | 184 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #5 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | 144 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monticlassico1187 | +5.24 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Sashka | +3.67 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Wasserschwein | +2.12 | 38 | 61 |
| #4 | Der Masthuhn Vernichter | +0.73 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | Z3R0 | -0.13 | 37 | 34 |





