








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4201 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3960 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2769 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2640 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $783,396 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mbr | 50% | 195 |
| #7 | ThrillUrLife | 50% | 78 |
| #8 | General Aladean | 48% | 164 |
| #9 | Scoliosis Goblin (Hes Crippled) | 48% | 23 |
| #10 | SEE | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lewdawg_ | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | General Aladean | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Mbr | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Robot1c | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ✪razz kickback.com | 7 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robot1c | 738 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | Lewdawg_ | 671 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | Mbr | 421 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | ThrillUrLife | 321 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | General Aladean | 267 | 0.08 | 5 min |





