








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1970 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2988 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2895 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2573 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,367,658 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sad sealo im sad sealo | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | astolfo | 65% | 40 |
| #3 | wealthy | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | im guwu | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | stan | 55% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | stan | 55% | 69 |
| #6 | Noose | 53% | 47 |
| #7 | m o n k e | 52% | 140 |
| #8 | Qutiepi | 52% | 79 |
| #9 | cannibal | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qutiepi | 19 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | m o n k e | 16 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | cannibal | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | stan | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | wealthy | 4 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m o n k e | 357 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | cannibal | 276 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | astolfo | 201 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | wealthy | 129 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Qutiepi | 126 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wealthy | +5.39 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | sad sealo im sad sealo | +4.95 | 79 | 24 |
| #3 | astolfo | +4.43 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | im guwu | +4.05 | 85 | 36 |
| #5 | cannibal | +3.84 | 78 | 74 |





