








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 584 | 28% |
| Smokes | 645 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 319 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 569 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,800 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wambo | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | WAX | DeathByCodie | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Jogabrio | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Fukajo | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penis | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Jogabrio | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | WAX | DeathByCodie | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Fukajo | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | EricTheEradicator | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penis | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kaysel | 48 | 0.43 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fukajo | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | zero | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jogabrio | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |





