








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3033 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2442 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1898 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2238 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,941 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl_the2nd | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | Karl | 52% | 99 |
| #3 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | 49% | 108 |
| #4 | Mal3ficus-[AUT] | 48% | 151 |
| #5 | Itachi Uchiha | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mal3ficus-[AUT] | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Karl | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Karl_the2nd | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Itachi Uchiha | 6 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mal3ficus-[AUT] | 306 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Karl_the2nd | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Itachi Uchiha | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Karl | 120 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |





