








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 559 matches | ||
| Wingman | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3716 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7524 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 5268 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2540 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,279 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Split_Boy | 49% | 108 |
| #5 | Sie reiten ein totes Pferd! | 48% | 119 |
| #6 | Itachi Uchiha | 47% | 424 |
| #7 | Mal3ficus-[AUT] | 47% | 148 |
| #8 | Sloppy Noodle | 45% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itachi Uchiha | 45 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Sloppy Noodle | 27 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Split_Boy | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Mal3ficus-[AUT] | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Sie reiten ein totes Pferd! | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl | +1.79 | 63 | 68 |
| #2 | Itachi Uchiha | +1.50 | 45 | 44 |
| #3 | Karl_the2nd | +0.78 | 48 | 65 |
| #4 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | -0.22 | 29 | 51 |
| #5 | Mal3ficus-[AUT] | -0.52 | 47 | 61 |





