








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 571 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 591 matches | ||
| Wingman | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6945 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9131 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7583 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4880 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,661,727 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl_the2nd | 55% | 91 |
| #2 | Karl | 50% | 373 |
| #3 | Split_Boy | 48% | 151 |
| #4 | Itachi Uchiha | 48% | 162 |
| #5 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | 47% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Split_Boy | 48% | 151 |
| #4 | Itachi Uchiha | 48% | 162 |
| #5 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | 47% | 148 |
| #6 | ObN3X | 47% | 72 |
| #7 | Sloppy Noodle | 38% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl | 20 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Itachi Uchiha | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Sloppy Noodle | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Split_Boy | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl | 374 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #2 | Itachi Uchiha | 308 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Split_Boy | 304 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | 199 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sloppy Noodle | 135 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karl | +2.08 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | Karl_the2nd | +2.02 | 50 | 68 |
| #3 | Itachi Uchiha | +0.94 | 43 | 45 |
| #4 | Mal3ficus-[AUT] | -0.33 | 55 | 63 |
| #5 | Ichunboxdeinemudda | -0.59 | 31 | 57 |





