








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 781 | 27% |
| Smokes | 489 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,499 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huzz whisperer | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | PystykorvaPimppi | 53% | 76 |
| #3 | dude son | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Juustoinenpinppi | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | Mistah Mayonais | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dude son | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Juustoinenpinppi | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | Mistah Mayonais | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | sebu | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | f3ntanel | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dude son | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Juustoinenpinppi | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | f3ntanel | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Mistah Mayonais | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dude son | 204 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | PystykorvaPimppi | 63 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Juustoinenpinppi | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mistah Mayonais | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | f3ntanel | 30 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dude son | +2.45 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | PystykorvaPimppi | +0.61 | 71 | 50 |
| #3 | sebu | +0.32 | 39 | 49 |
| #4 | Juustoinenpinppi | -0.34 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | SigmaRageNutCrusher | -0.46 | 51 | 44 |





