








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1389 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1496 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1566 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1042 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,198 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mata Peruanos de mierda | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Kenchi | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | razwow | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Zyph | 48% | 91 |
| #5 | vR Ripzee | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kenchi | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | razwow | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Zyph | 48% | 91 |
| #5 | vR Ripzee | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | ☆ 《《 F[]X 》》 ☆ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenchi | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Zyph | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | razwow | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenchi | 199 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Zyph | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | razwow | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☆ 《《 F[]X 》》 ☆ | 55 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mata Peruanos de mierda | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | razwow | +4.06 | 87 | 43 |
| #2 | Kenchi | +0.93 | 44 | 40 |
| #3 | Popeye | -0.12 | 39 | 48 |
| #4 | Zyph | -0.61 | 32 | 53 |
| #5 | Mata Peruanos de mierda | -1.64 | 12 | 75 |





