








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2010 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2009 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4103 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2609 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,572 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuisPa | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | 人斬りHOLY | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Im-Dubini♥ | 54% | 138 |
| #4 | Zyph | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | Popeye | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pwn | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | kxuzz | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Mata Peruanos de mierda | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ☆ 《《 F[]X 》》 ☆ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Popeye | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ 《《 F[]X 》》 ☆ | 863 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | pwn | 629 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | kxuzz | 625 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Im-Dubini♥ | 600 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #5 | Mata Peruanos de mierda | 232 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Im-Dubini♥ | +2.31 | 55 | 63 |
| #2 | 人斬りHOLY | +2.17 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | razwow | +2.02 | 87 | 47 |
| #4 | pwn | +0.43 | 63 | 69 |
| #5 | ☆ 《《 F[]X 》》 ☆ | -0.78 | 32 | 84 |





