








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4062 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3661 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5141 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4666 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,211,706 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | spirritt_level99 | 40% | 127 |
| #6 | vienna?¿ | 40% | 160 |
| #7 | klaymen9 | 38% | 288 |
| #8 | [RSL]BangBangBetty | 34% | 298 |
| #9 | ⋆。°✩ kitty gf fennie!! | 34% | 123 |





