








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1596 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1650 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 875 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,109 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✅ ᴍᴏɴᴏᵇʸᵗᵉ | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Toyota AE86 | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | JKyle21 | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | IGL Chad | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Nubby | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JKyle21 | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | IGL Chad | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Nubby | 42% | 65 |
| #6 | TRAV | 39% | 38 |
| #7 | TPEG | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubby | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | JKyle21 | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | IGL Chad | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ✅ ᴍᴏɴᴏᵇʸᵗᵉ | 5 | 0.0186 |
| #5 | TPEG | 4 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubby | 191 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | JKyle21 | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | IGL Chad | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Toyota AE86 | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | TRAV | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✅ ᴍᴏɴᴏᵇʸᵗᵉ | +3.14 | 79 | 33 |
| #2 | clarkson | +2.30 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | JKyle21 | +2.24 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | Nubby | +0.59 | 24 | 61 |
| #5 | Toyota AE86 | -0.71 | 60 | 51 |





