








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




262 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10065 | 42% |
| Smokes | 6253 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2644 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4817 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,832,708 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | memoir | 86% | 44 |
| #2 | minty | 85% | 52 |
| #3 | stellar | 78% | 69 |
| #4 | suicide | 76% | 79 |
| #5 | olan | 68% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | stellar | 78% | 69 |
| #4 | suicide | 76% | 79 |
| #5 | olan | 68% | 78 |
| #6 | Midgy | 66% | 47 |
| #7 | oblixions | 56% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minty | 17 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | oblixions | 15 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | stellar | 13 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | suicide | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | memoir | 9 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oblixions | 492 | 0.38 | 13 min |
| #2 | memoir | 289 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #3 | olan | 229 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | stellar | 143 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Midgy | 97 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | memoir | +7.53 | 97 | 64 |
| #2 | minty | +6.52 | 92 | 47 |
| #3 | stellar | +4.55 | 94 | 72 |
| #4 | alucard | +2.77 | 90 | 59 |
| #5 | olan | +1.79 | 86 | 55 |





