








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3698 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2401 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1918 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3482 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,555,394 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | oblixions | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | WildFire | 51% | 65 |
| #6 | LoadingBot | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | Kyokon | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | AceSan | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alucard | 19 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | oblixions | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Kyokon | 13 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | Loadingskill | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | WildFire | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oblixions | 853 | 0.38 | 22 min |
| #2 | alucard | 314 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #3 | Loadingskill | 278 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #4 | WildFire | 239 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kyokon | 138 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loadingskill | +2.92 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | oblixions | +2.46 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | Kyokon | +1.38 | 82 | 35 |
| #4 | alucard | +1.32 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | Midgy | +0.93 | 84 | 45 |





