










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1153 | 36% |
| Smokes | 676 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 846 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 510 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,216 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catfish_jones.exe багет | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | jH | 44% | 36 |
| #3 | Not Dank | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Kentavious Bartholomew III | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | Master Oogway | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Dank | 7 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | jH | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Kentavious Bartholomew III | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | catfish_jones.exe багет | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Master Oogway | 2 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jH | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kentavious Bartholomew III | 75 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Not Dank | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | catfish_jones.exe багет | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Master Oogway | 22 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catfish_jones.exe багет | +2.46 | 76 | 26 |
| #2 | Not Dank | +1.46 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | iwatchhentai | +0.58 | 55 | 49 |
| #4 | jH | -0.59 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | Kentavious Bartholomew III | -1.53 | 61 | 41 |





