








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 972 | 29% |
| Smokes | 767 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 887 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,669 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asian Whale | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | CharlieT | 48% | 31 |
| #3 | Lu | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | iwatchhentai | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | Not Dank | 44% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Dank | 14 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | iwatchhentai | 12 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Master Oogway | 6 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | catfish_jones.exe багет | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Lu | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Dank | 138 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | CharlieT | 102 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | iwatchhentai | 94 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kentavious Bartholomew III | 62 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Master Oogway | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asian Whale | +6.26 | 84 | 45 |
| #2 | catfish_jones.exe багет | +3.00 | 81 | 29 |
| #3 | CharlieT | +2.88 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Lu | +2.26 | 95 | 55 |
| #5 | Not Dank | +0.71 | 74 | 50 |





