








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 808 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1765 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 570 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 829 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,902 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XGames | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Kuragari | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | Sjowwer | 63% | 91 |
| #4 | Cloud$ | 63% | 72 |
| #5 | Pleb | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjowwer | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | BAZZAN | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Cloud$ | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | SlimShady097 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | XGames | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjowwer | 429 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cloud$ | 272 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kuragari | 92 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | XGames | 57 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pleb | 51 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pleb | +7.21 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Kuragari | +4.50 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | Paradoxx-_- | +2.37 | 67 | 24 |
| #4 | Cloud$ | +2.10 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Sjowwer | +1.25 | 51 | 57 |





