








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 49 | 7% |
| Smokes | 283 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 163 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 246 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,159 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradoxx-_- | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Sjowwer | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | City Boy | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | RicheLieu | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | Cloud$ | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjowwer | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Cloud$ | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | RicheLieu | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | SlimShady097 | 2 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloud$ | 124 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sjowwer | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | RicheLieu | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | City Boy | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Paradoxx-_- | 15 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradoxx-_- | +3.53 | 74 | 28 |
| #2 | Cloud$ | +2.52 | 68 | 49 |
| #3 | Sjowwer | +0.51 | 42 | 51 |
| #4 | RicheLieu | +0.22 | 56 | 32 |
| #5 | City Boy | -0.24 | 30 | 16 |





