








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 619 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4761 | 50% |
| Smokes | 1336 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2655 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 794 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,726,533 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1812 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | Scobes | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | Wookii | 54% | 71 |
| #4 | Plumber Sins | 44% | 122 |
| #5 | SeniorSemen | 35% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | Scobes | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | Wookii | 54% | 71 |
| #4 | Plumber Sins | 44% | 122 |
| #5 | SeniorSemen | 35% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plumber Sins | 46 | 0.0185 |
| #2 | SeniorSemen | 15 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Wookii | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Scobes | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Prophet | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plumber Sins | 345 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Prophet | 219 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wookii | 218 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | SeniorSemen | 214 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Scobes | 149 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | +4.85 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | Wookii | +1.82 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Scobes | +0.12 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | Can i Clean Here | -0.23 | 49 | 32 |
| #5 | SeniorSemen | -1.21 | 45 | 43 |





