








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 847 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




313 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9992 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8858 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5177 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6730 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,084,904 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | 63% | 62 |
| #2 | Wookii | 51% | 135 |
| #3 | Scobes | 48% | 84 |
| #4 | BOOGERMUNCHER | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | Fz_Yllow | 45% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Oscar. | 44% | 72 |
| #7 | Can i Clean Here | 44% | 122 |
| #8 | Meat Piston | 44% | 73 |
| #9 | DEANW | 43% | 76 |
| #10 | ✪HazzaVEVO | 43% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Can i Clean Here | 28 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Wookii | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Oscar. | 18 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Fz_Yllow | 16 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Meat Piston | 15 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wookii | 304 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Prophet | 294 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪HazzaVEVO | 263 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Can i Clean Here | 243 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Scobes | 234 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | +4.58 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | Wookii | +3.25 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Plumber Sins | +0.66 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | DEANW | +0.61 | 57 | 37 |
| #5 | Meat Piston | +0.39 | 69 | 34 |





