










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 517 | 16% |
| Smokes | 716 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1255 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 717 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,204 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 44% | 68 |
| #2 | pancake | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | funkymonkey | 44% | 94 |
| #4 | hole | 38% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 44% | 68 |
| #2 | pancake | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | funkymonkey | 44% | 94 |
| #4 | hole | 38% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | hole | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | funkymonkey | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | pancake | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkymonkey | 304 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | hole | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | pancake | 154 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | j0r | 136 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkymonkey | +2.06 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | j0r | +0.51 | 76 | 44 |
| #3 | goku | -0.31 | 63 | 40 |
| #4 | hole | -0.57 | 54 | 54 |
| #5 | pancake | -1.87 | 45 | 45 |





