










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1168 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1628 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1378 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1421 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $468,225 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkymonkey | 40% | 72 |
| #2 | j0r | 40% | 50 |
| #3 | goku | 38% | 79 |
| #4 | pancake | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkymonkey | 40% | 72 |
| #2 | j0r | 40% | 50 |
| #3 | goku | 38% | 79 |
| #4 | pancake | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | funkymonkey | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | goku | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | pancake | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkymonkey | 233 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | j0r | 119 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | goku | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | pancake | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkymonkey | +1.85 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | j0r | -0.34 | 73 | 39 |
| #3 | hole | -0.48 | 55 | 55 |
| #4 | goku | -0.54 | 64 | 40 |
| #5 | pancake | -1.87 | 50 | 44 |





