








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 340 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3195 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4692 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2455 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3632 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $894,649 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 49% | 153 |
| #2 | goku | 44% | 94 |
| #3 | pancake | 42% | 84 |
| #4 | hole | 40% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 49% | 153 |
| #2 | goku | 44% | 94 |
| #3 | pancake | 42% | 84 |
| #4 | hole | 40% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 22 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | hole | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | goku | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | pancake | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0r | 307 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | pancake | 238 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | hole | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | goku | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funkymonkey | +1.65 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | j0r | +0.22 | 70 | 44 |
| #3 | hole | -0.97 | 55 | 53 |
| #4 | goku | -1.04 | 66 | 40 |
| #5 | pancake | -1.77 | 48 | 42 |





