








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 274 matches | ||
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3253 | 12% |
| Smokes | 11370 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 7355 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4826 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,315,040 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nico | 74% | 133 |
| #2 | r4yz | 73% | 186 |
| #3 | FixN☂ | 65% | 81 |
| #4 | Big Papa | 65% | 93 |
| #5 | NaloX | 63% | 388 |





