










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 47% |
| Smokes | 333 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 366 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 227 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,602 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ego | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Stay High | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Emeryt Profesor Was | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | HOPMON | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | mihal | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mihal | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | pszczola | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | $hyemah4wB | 50% | 38 |
| #8 | yuno miles | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | ewile | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $hyemah4wB | 27 | 0.0445 |
| #2 | ewile | 9 | 0.0288 |
| #3 | mihal | 6 | 0.0274 |
| #4 | yuno miles | 6 | 0.0455 |
| #5 | pszczola | 4 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mihal | 72 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #2 | yuno miles | 49 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #3 | $hyemah4wB | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | pszczola | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ewile | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ego | +4.85 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | mihal | +2.95 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | Emeryt Profesor Was | +2.60 | 74 | 44 |
| #4 | $hyemah4wB | +2.36 | 79 | 22 |
| #5 | ewile | +0.97 | 79 | 26 |





