








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2510 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1790 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2309 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1605 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $796,387 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Par Kin Son | 46% | 151 |
| #2 | dzsízuszkrisz | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | HeSSaN | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | Davies | 41% | 125 |
| #5 | Aloha Akhbar | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dzsízuszkrisz | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | HeSSaN | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | Davies | 41% | 125 |
| #5 | Aloha Akhbar | 39% | 28 |
| #6 | Massive Rat | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Par Kin Son | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Davies | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Aloha Akhbar | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Massive Rat | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | dzsízuszkrisz | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Par Kin Son | 122 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #2 | Massive Rat | 97 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Davies | 88 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | HeSSaN | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aloha Akhbar | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeSSaN | +3.41 | 64 | 52 |
| #2 | Par Kin Son | +2.29 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | dzsízuszkrisz | +1.71 | 86 | 49 |
| #4 | Aloha Akhbar | -0.74 | 40 | 65 |
| #5 | Davies | -1.36 | 59 | 64 |





