








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 511 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2130 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5311 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5356 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4186 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,951,185 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡EnviousS | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Para lazım, çok para lazım | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Koneko Chan | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | deadw✠lf | 52% | 61 |
| #5 | HeSSaN | 50% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HeSSaN | 50% | 121 |
| #6 | Aloha Akhbar | 48% | 42 |
| #7 | Mr.Gatto | 46% | 151 |
| #8 | Davies | 45% | 267 |
| #9 | Massive Rat | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Davies | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Para lazım, çok para lazım | 11 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Mr.Gatto | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Koneko Chan | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | HeSSaN | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Davies | 200 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mr.Gatto | 200 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | deadw✠lf | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Massive Rat | 145 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | HeSSaN | 144 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡EnviousS | +3.47 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | HeSSaN | +2.59 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | Par Kin Son | +1.83 | 77 | 56 |
| #4 | Para lazım, çok para lazım | +1.04 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | Koneko Chan | +0.99 | 54 | 64 |





