










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 704 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1348 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,265,973 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sieni | 62% | 92 |
| #2 | bsateb | 58% | 106 |
| #3 | 𝕬𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖆𝖓 | 53% | 190 |
| #4 | Rick Grimes | 49% | 312 |
| #5 | Dessukissa | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick Grimes | 42 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | bsateb | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | 𝕬𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖆𝖓 | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Dessukissa | 7 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | sieni | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sieni | 295 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | bsateb | 263 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | 𝕬𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖆𝖓 | 241 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Rick Grimes | 201 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dessukissa | 89 | 0.14 | 2 min |





