








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 544 matches | ||
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2018 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1355 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1142 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 913 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,468,949 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spit | 40% | 48 |
| #2 | zAch | 40% | 48 |
| #3 | jarek | 38% | 47 |
| #4 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | 32% | 114 |
| #5 | stella υ´• ﻌ •`υ | 29% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | stella υ´• ﻌ •`υ | 29% | 276 |
| #6 | Maya ♡ | 28% | 60 |
| #7 | boing :3 | 27% | 67 |
| #8 | bunny | 24% | 54 |
| #9 | Gamer | 16% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | 55 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | stella υ´• ﻌ •`υ | 47 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Gamer | 21 | 0.0166 |
| #4 | Maya ♡ | 12 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | jarek | 12 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stella υ´• ﻌ •`υ | 891 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | bunny | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | spit | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | jarek | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝓕𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 | 42 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunny | +3.70 | 49 | 53 |
| #2 | boing :3 | +1.24 | 50 | 21 |
| #3 | jarek | +0.75 | 46 | 45 |
| #4 | dork | +0.65 | 44 | 23 |
| #5 | spit | +0.27 | 66 | 52 |





