








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1096 | 37% |
| Smokes | 624 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 749 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 515 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,322 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spectrum | 47% | 51 |
| #2 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | 47% | 92 |
| #3 | Prisma | 45% | 77 |
| #4 | Clutch | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | me. | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spectrum | 47% | 51 |
| #2 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | 47% | 92 |
| #3 | Prisma | 45% | 77 |
| #4 | Clutch | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | me. | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Prisma | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Spectrum | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | me. | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Clutch | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | 344 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | me. | 190 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Clutch | 141 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Spectrum | 66 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Prisma | 16 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | who? | +2.13 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | +1.01 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | me. | -0.01 | 46 | 64 |
| #4 | Spectrum | -0.04 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | Prisma | -2.24 | 52 | 17 |





