








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 536 | 25% |
| Smokes | 550 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 574 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,714 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Prisma | 41% | 68 |
| #4 | me. | 38% | 65 |
| #5 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | 38% | 47 |
| #6 | Spectrum | 31% | 42 |
| #7 | dizey | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | who? | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Prisma | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | me. | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Spectrum | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | who? | 178 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | 172 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | me. | 149 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Spectrum | 66 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | dizey | 25 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | who? | +3.17 | 81 | 45 |
| #2 | dizey | +3.15 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | 𝐝𝟏𝐳𝐞𝐲 | +1.46 | 67 | 47 |
| #4 | me. | +0.64 | 51 | 65 |
| #5 | Spectrum | +0.49 | 64 | 55 |





